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If you go out at night, you may come into contact with zombies. If you come into contact with zombies, bad things can happen. Small animals can disappear. People can disappear. Whole communities can disappear. So don’t go out at night. Unless you go out in the new Nissan Rogue…

At Downtown Jazz you’ll find rebop and pre-bop, bebop and free bop, yes-siree-bop, out-of-your-tree-bop, do-it-for-me-glad-to-be-bop….

At Downtown Jazz you’ll find rebop and pre-bop, bebop and free bop, yes-siree-bop, out-of-your-tree-bop, do-it-for-me-glad-to-be-bop….

Downtown Jazz presents Count Basics. Basie is the alpha and the omega. He was in at the start and the orchestra’s still going strong. Yeah, you count it in four and you swing it in three. 1-2, 1-2-3-4. Jazz is life, learn to count…

EVERYMAN:  Back with Mr. Know-it-all.

MR. KNOW-IT-ALL: Nothing out there that’s not in here. In the cranium.

EVERYMAN:  So you know all about Wendy’s fresh-stuffed pitas.

MR. KNOW-IT-ALL: Of course. I’m passionate about Wendy’s pitas. Packed with fresh vegetables and delicious dressings.

EVERYMAN:  Prepared right when you order.

MR. KNOW-IT-ALL: Precisely!

What if a baseball catcher wasn’t allowed to use a glove?

SFX: Oooh.

What if there were real fowls in foul territory?

SFX: Chickens clucking.